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If your little one is about to turn two years old, you should start preparing because tantrums come. And here there is no instruction manual or magic formula that guarantees you success to combat them, you must find your own way together! I've been through it too and that's why I want to share my mother tricks to fight childhood tantrums.
From experience, I will tell you that you can read books by theorists specialized in child psychology or education, you will listen to the advice of your pediatrician and friends and family will try to help you with their advice and their experiences, but even so, at some point the eternal question will invade you : what am I doing wrong?
Tantrums are part of a child's normal development. Through them our children, with the few tools they still have to express their emotions, channel anger, frustration or fatigue. So, relax, we are not doing anything wrong.
As they appear, they will disappear as our offspring mature. Patience is the key to getting through this process. Patience, tenderness and affection are the ingredients that we must include in the shaker before a tantrum. This sounds very good as a theory, the difficult thing is to put it into practice, because our little ones have the gift of inconvenience and of tightening the rope so much that we adults end up overwhelmed.
And it is that, sometimes, as parents, even if it costs us, we must be aware that the only thing we can do to help our children is to do nothing, just accompany them in the process. And although despair takes hold of us, the most important thing is that we are calm. No shouting, no threats of punishment and impositions. Only accompaniment and empathy.
However, day-to-day experience leads us to find out those 'tics' that work for us so that our son calms down sooner and harmony reigns in the family. I don't know if chance came to visit me at those times, but with the tricks that I am going to propose below, my daughter overcame tantrums quickly and we always ended up fused in a hug. That's why I encourage you to try them and ... hopefully they work for you too!
1. Turn to music
It has always been said that music soothes beasts, and it is true. From the day I found out I was pregnant, every afternoon I listened to the same song, 'Cheek to Cheek', by Frank Sinatra, in its most classic version. When my little one fell to the ground disconsolate and there was no way to calm her down, I would play this song. Little by little, her crying became a moan and before the music ended she was already in my arms. Will you have memories of when you were in my tummy? This question I leave to the experts.
2. Tripe massage
Similarly, during the last months of pregnancy I tried to calm her kicks by stroking my belly. At her two years old, facing a tantrum, I would sit near her. First she began to caress my belly and then I asked her to do the same with hers. I think she was so focused on perfecting the imaginary circles on her gut that she forgot what had led to the tragedy.
3. Express emotions
I have always thought that children, although they should live a happy and joyful childhood, we should not hide reality from them. They should listen to us adults say phrases such as 'we are tired', 'that we are angry for this or that reason', 'that we do not want to do something', 'that something else hurts us', so that little by little they normalize those emotions and see that nothing happens, that mom or dad also feel bad.
When a tantrum came, he sometimes used this technique. I would stand by her side and, while she cried, I would calmly talk to her about the things that I had not liked about the day, about how bad I had felt. You cannot imagine how empathetic our children can be. They forget about them to take care of us. In the end she ended up giving me a hug, telling me that nothing was wrong, she even left me her favorite toy.
4. Look for a distraction
Deep down, this was nothing more than trying to make him make an effort to silence his screams and tantrum to be able to hear my voice (low and calm) to see what it was I was saying or proposing to him, for that of curiosity. Almost in a whisper I told him the cool things we were going to do that day (as if at that moment I had become a commercial for children's entertainment and my proposals were a whole party). I talked to her about the park, that that day I really wanted to play the babies with her, that she had thought that we could dress up when we got home ... Things that made her say yes to so much negativity and that were easy to fulfill.
5. Do nothing
Without a doubt, this I think is the star trick. It consists of sitting, like an Indian, next to him. Open your arms wide, as if we were waiting, unhurriedly, for your hug. All this, while we look at them with serenity (sometimes a bit pretended, because the clock keeps ticking and there are always things to do) and a lot of love. I invite you to check it out, each tantrum will last less and your child will end up on your lap demanding your pampering and caresses.
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